Friday, January 15, 2016

WARPED XII: April 21-23 (Kernville, CA)

So...WARPED is an annual event that my friends always attend. And it always sounds like there's more drinking than riding going on (all you can drink beer is included in the event price). WARPED is the Western Adventure Rider Party and Edurance Drinking event. And that should tell you all you need to know.

It appears the planets are aligned this year. I'm leaving SD on Friday and returning on Sunday. I'll report back if and when I return...

More info:

Your ticket INCLUDES unlimited access to the beer (and other libation) kegs.


It’s included. You can show up, park, set up camp and go to town as much as you want. Truly a life changing event for many-some of us barely make it out of camp..! There is also the super secret voluntary donation SPIRITS TABLE for those of us who enjoy cocktails or whiskey (having one right now as I type this, actually).

Let’s talk about the significance of number TWELVE, this being the twelfth WARPED.

There may be twelve steps to recovery in some of the programs out there, but for those of us who AREN’T quitters, there are twelve steps to WARPED!!!!

1) You admit you are powerless over WARPED.
2) You believe WARPED is a greater power and can return you to insanity.
3) You make a decision to turn your will over to the care of WARPED as you understand it.
4) You make a searching, fearless moral inventory of your ADV riding and endurance drinking capability.
5) You admit to WARPED and yourself the nature of your previous ADV wrongs.
6) You are entirely ready to remove the defect in your character of NOT going to WARPED.
7) You humbly ask the past HDIC’s & noob welcome squad to remove your shortcomings.
8) You make a list of all the times you’ve not partied or rode hard enough (either one is ok) and be willing to make amends at WARPED.
9) You make direct amends by personally taking action on these matters.
10) You continue to take fearless personal & public inventory of these shortcomings in your ADV life in the thread all the way up to WARPED XII.
11) You sought through the bottom of a bottle to improve your conscious contact with Bacchus, the god of wine, ritual madness, and parties, as you understand his will and power.
12) Having a spiritual and existential awakening as a result of these steps, carrying this message to other ADV inmates on our beloved site.

There are also TWELVE gods in the Greek pantheon, BACCHUS, the god of wine, winemaking, parties and ritual madness, being the most important for this event - and he HAS given his blessing to this, our twelfth WARPED!!!

“Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever.”

Aristophanes (the Greeks knew what was up)

Oh man. You know I love this event.

What is WARPED?

It’s an outstanding of group of adv riders of any and all stripes, who are awesome humans and down for anything. Want to ride hardcore singletrack on a little bike? Plenty of folks have and are doing that.

Want to wallow your 500+lb pig around off pavement? TONS of those guys around (that would be me last year, someone has two up off pics).

Want to ride pavement only on some overloaded two wheeled dreadnought the size of a Honda Fit? Yep, Kernville has some of the most outstanding paved motorcycle roads in CA and plenty of other folks around to join in with ya.

Last, but DEFINITELY not least, want to ride in, park it, and hang out all weekend at camp? Well, that would be the rest of us left over!

1 comment:

  1. Sounds like a good way to get a bunch of guys together to blow off a little steam. I am sure you will have fun......until the next morning perhaps. :-)